As My Baby Turns One…

Tomorrow my baby girl turns one! I honestly can’t believe how quickly this year has gone. It feels like yesterday when I had her, holding her against my chest in the hospital, I couldn’t stop gazing into those deep blue eyes. Slipping her into the white, freshly washed baby gro and lovingly knitted cardigan. When it was time to leave she was in her snuggly snow suit ready for the car journey home. As we walked out of the hospital with her in the car seat it was such a relief to be leaving with her. As we drove home I sat in the back with her, holding her hand. I kept glancing over at her and I just couldn’t believe we were now parents to this beautiful, dainty little being. Seeing our families when we got home was so magical. They had been waiting for her for so long too and now we could all enjoy her. That first night is a bit of a blur. We were exhausted (and a little traumatazied after the birth!) but having our baby was the most amazing feeling in the world. All that waiting and she was finally here.

The last twelve months have been a whirlwind. It’s been the best year of my life. Seeing my baby grow and develop into such a happy, smily, confident little girl is such an amazing feeling. She has brought so much joy and love and happiness to us all. She’s our little light, she makes my heart melt every single day. She’s made me understand myself more, to not bully myself about things as much, to become the best version of myself. She’s made me feel emotions I’ve never felt before, I’d do absolutely anything for her.

Becoming a mum has also been emotially and mentally challenging. A few hurdles to overcome were not being able to breastfeed (I was gutted but looking back I was too hard on myself), experiencing post natal depression, (having bad anxiety anyway I was expecting to feel low after the birth but not to the extent that I did. Luckily I’ve had the support that I needed), enduring endless sleepless nights (still ongoing but I’ve adjusted to it now!) trying to calm and soothe a crying baby who wouldn’t settle (how hard is it trying to work out what your baby wants at 1am when she’s been crying for three hours and you’ve tried EVERYTHING?!) No matter how hard it’s been, I’m grateful for all those moments, the good and the bad, because it has made the bond and connection between her and me so strong. She’s my heart and I couldn’t live without her.

So how do I feel about leaving the baby phase behind and moving onto the toddler stage? Excited, mainly, but also a little emotional. Experiencing all those “firsts” has been such a special time, like her first smile, the first time she laughed, the first time she said Dada and Mama, crawling, her first tooth…but I’m so excited about all the things we shall experience together as she grows. I can’t wait until she can hold my hand and we can walk together, have a conversation with her, see her run in her wellies and bobble hat, make sand castles, collect sea shells, tell her about Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, decorate the Christmas tree…I shall treasure every single moment.

Happy 1st Birthday Baby Girl. You are loved so much xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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