I’m not going to lie, this post is a little bit stressy and perhaps a little bit ranty (sorry in advance! 😬).
LL hasn’t been herself all week. She had her jabs almost two weeks ago but I’m putting it down to her teeth, she’s been much more sleepy (two hour naps in a morning which is not like her at all), wanting even more cuddles and is exceptionally clingy. I’m not too worried as she’s been playing with her toys, smiling and laughing still plus eating and drinking, but she’s definitely more niggly. Lots of little tantrums and crocodile tears, bless her, especially when I put her down when I need to do something. I’m sorry, darling, but mummy needs to make your lunch, put a load of washing on and sometimes, she just desperately needs a poo. I’d love to hold you in my arms every second of every day but life doesn’t work like that, so please stop screaming like somebody has told you Peppa Pig has gone away and is never coming back. (That would be awful, by the way).
My baby girl throws tantrums (yes, already. The terrible twos seem to have started a year early. Oh joy). I love her to the ends of the earth but my goodness has she tested me today. I’ve done lots of calming breathing! She’s been niggly all day, even reading her favourite books seemed to make her mad. Breakfast time went ok, no screaming outbursts. Lunch and dinner time did not go so well. She was clearly tired so I decided to change our bedtime routine tonight. She did not have any pudding (usually a yoghurt), instead I made her milk, gave her some calpol and took her straight upstairs. I decided to scrap bath time and put her straight in her pyjamas. After her milk she’s down and asleep at 6.30pm. She’s usually in bed between 7pm and 7.15pm. As you may know from my previous post “Lack of Zzzz’s”, LL is not a great sleeper. She wouldn’t settle last night or the previous few nights, but this is nothing new. I’ve always been told “have a nice bedtime routine”. Ours consists of a bath, some sleep balm, bottle with a bedtime story then down for sleep. Having a routine hasn’t really made much of a difference but it’s nice to have one. She just hates being left and the past few nights it’s been 9.15pm before she’s asleep. She’ll go down fairly ok, sometimes we have screaming, last night she made herself sick because I’d left her for a minute. She can get herself in such a state. When she does go off she seems to fall asleep, then after half an hour wake up, then fall asleep, then wake up, then fall asleep, then wake up. It’s like she never falls into a proper deep sleep. We’ve resorted to bringing her into our bed as we are so exhausted with getting up and down in the night. It’s all hours and with both of us at work it’s the only solution we can think of at the moment. Even then she doesn’t always settle, she can be niggly one minute then laughing and squealing in excitment the next. This can go on for over an hour and she shows no sign of sleeping, then suddenly she’ll just go off.
So tonight I can’t face any dinner (it’s gone luke warm anyway!) as my stomach is in knots. I have the dreaded “mummy guilt”. I feel like a rubbish mum when we have bad days like this, I worry it’s something I’ve done with her routine, like not putting her to bed early enough or taking her out somewhere in the day and then she’s gotten tired and won’t sleep in her pushchair or in the car. I’m always thinking “should I have taken her out?” Apparently Hubby used to be an awful sleeper too so I’m blaming him! I suppose you’re always analysing things, compare yourself to other mums and just worry that you’re not doing a good enough job. You just want the very best for your child. Not every day can be a good day, it comes with the territory, but it can be draining and just bloody exhausting on bad days!
Do you worry about anything being a parent? Are you having any little niggles in your routine or ongoing problems with your little one? Let’s share here! Xxx